There is a verse of scripture that is very hard for me to accept, to believe, to understand and to get past.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” – Hebrews 11:6

It condemns me to be forever a non-receiver of the blessings that those who believe can receive in the power of whatever god is. Believing in a god that can do all that has happened and will happen is just past the comprehension of my mortal mind. There are, i am sure some, who understand the complexity of life like i would like to think i do, all the intricacies of the cell ultrastructure, the tiniest of molecular machines, the massive amount of coding in the DNA, the unbelievably accurate reading of that code and transcription, translation, editing, transport and production of proteins. So many signals for just a single cell, let alone for all other aspects of “life”, “space”, “cosmos” and whatever constitutes the expanse of the “universe”.
I have such a difficult time receiving a personal input, finding a personal connection with some entity that could be “in charge” of all this. By being so “on the edge” i know i miss out on peace and tranquility of thought. I may miss out on any benefit “post mortum” as well.
Please explain to me why the concept of such an entity (which i refuse to give the masculine gender) is so difficult.
I obviously dont “please god” as the faith i have is measured in the mass of the tiniest sub atomic particles, not even as much as a mustard seed.